Jon
D — BASS What can you say about this man that has not been said
already..erm..well..er..nothing really. He's new to the music game. Choosing
instead to go down 'Sensible Rd' and carving himself out a nice little life.
Riff Raff has unfortunately become his roadblock (the band would like to
take this opportunity to apologise, walk away from the lights Jon and save
yourself before its too late!). Solid, dependable and apparently has been
seen not talking on his mobile phone, although this has yet to be confirmed!
Sparki
— VOCALS The undoubted lynchpin* of the band without whom we
would probably have er, well, hit the big time. What, alright we're sorry,
we were just joking..he is sensitive you know. You probably remember him
from the mighty Shy At The Chemist but did you know he studied at RADA
and then moved on to the Berklee School of Music in Boston where he majored
in Gothic Operatic Styles of the 18th Century, 1752 to 1753 - the Karaoke
years. While there he won a scholarship to study with the great Pavorotti.
However to everyone's disappointment this turned out to be Bill Pavorotti
the senior lecturer of Bricklaying at Ottley College. Although he did
not go on to be a master of Opera he can knock up a bloody good permanent
Barbecue area.
Alright, alright
the bulls**t meter has just gone off the scale. The truth is he learnt
to sing after stubbing his toe on the Kitchen table. Last one into Riff
Raff but his excellent vocals and dynamic stage presence was definitely
worth the wait.
*Lynchpin -n,
definition - someone who turns up late.
Jonny
M — LEAD GUITAR Set your phasers to stunned. What this man does
not know about the Guitar is not worth knowing. Whether its re-stringing,
re-fretting, changing the headstocks or even cleaning them until they have
a mirror like finish.. What, his playing? judge for yourself at a venue
near you soon and if you do see him give us a ring and we will come and
collect him as he's gone missing!
Andy
— GUITAR/BACKING VOCALS
The sensible one in the band. Intelligent, self assured, rich, handsome
(well I think that's what it says here..Andy your writing is appalling!),
the main man, the talent that holds the rest of the band together (enough
already!). Er lets simplify this a bit..he plays guitar and sings. Does
it well though.
Kevin
— DRUMS Not the sensible one in the band or the er..most intelligent,
well he hits things with bits of wood for crying out loud. Mind you he does
make a living from playing the drums, although we think this is because
he can't actually do anything else, he, he. A classic case of what do you
call a drummer without a girlfriend - homeless. Often been promised by the
band that he can do a drum solo but bless his heart he can not get his head
round the concept of 'we will let you tomorrow, ok?'
